| PLANNING
THE CEREMONY
Choosing
Ceremony Location
You
will need to decide where
your wedding will be held. In our First
Things First section, you will find information that will
outline some things to think about when considering locations.
Think,
really think, about what you want your wedding to be. Be considerate
and practical. Is it fair to ask your mom and your best friend
to spend hours cooking and serving food, when they could be
dancing with you? How much money is available to spend? Do
you want formal elegance or are you a more casual, fun couple?
Answer the questions on the worksheets and you'll come up
with answers.
A
church, of course is the most obvious and common wedding site,
and there are plenty of those to choose from. Each church
will have it's own rules and requirements for marrying there,
and you must abide by it's wishes.
There
are lots of other places for your ceremony. Use your imagination.
Gardens in full bloom, beautiful parks or beaches at sunset,
cozy inns or plush resorts are all places that couples choose
to marry. Consider a location that has special meaning to
you and your fiancé. Also consider the location of
the
reception facility, and the convenience for your guests
to get from one place to the other.
The
following is a list of things to think about and consider
when deciding on a location for your ceremony. Remember to
make a preliminary guest list with the help of both sets of
parents, so you will have an approximate idea of how many
people you will need to accommodate. Also keep your budget
in mind.
- Are
the dates and times that we want available?
- Are
there restrictions on wedding attire? (bare shoulders, dress
length, etc.?)
- Can
we write our own vows?
- Can
we use our own readings or songs?
- Are
there prohibitions on photography or videography during
the ceremony?
- Can
we use our own organist, soloist, etc. or must we use your
people?
- Can
guests throw rice, flower petals or birdseed?
- Can
we use children in our ceremony?
- What
are the costs of the site, for the offiant, for the organist,
etc?
- What
dressing areas are available?
- Can
we decorate with our own items? Do do you provide any items
such as candelabras, etc?
- How
early can we expect to arrive at the location for decorating,
receiving deliveries, dressing, photos, etc.
- May
we use candles? What limitations are there?
- If
we are planning an interfaith marriage, can we use clergy
from both faiths?
- Are
we required to attend couple or pre-marriage counseling?
- Who
will be available to answer our questions in the weeks preceding
our ceremony?
- How
long will the ceremony last?
- How
many guests will the site comfortably hold?
- Is
there adequate parking for our guests?
All in One Weddings and Receptions
Most
churches have a social hall, which can be used for a reception.
These tend to be better suited for short, cake and coffee
type receptions and can be quite inexpensive.
If
you don't have your heart set on a church for your ceremony,
there are a lot of options for having your
ceremony and reception in one location. Check out local
Historical areas, Bed & Breakfasts, Inns, Hotels, and
area scenic locations. If you are planning to use a public
area, remember it is just that, public, and that means that
anyone is able to attend. There will most likely be certain
rules and regulations that you will need to adhere to, as
well.
Planning your Ceremony
Your ceremony will probably be dictated, to some degree, by
the practices of the church in which you hold your wedding,
by the officiant
in charge, and by the laws of the state in which you choose
to marry.
Almost
all ceremonies proceed in a similar fashion, although there
may be differences in the vows and the traditions. There may
be some rules regarding music,
attire,
the vows you choose to exchange, who may be allowed to participate
and/or attend. You should carefully check with your officiant
and ask plenty of questions.
Most
wedding services consist of a processional (the wedding party
enters), a greeting by the officiant, selected readings or
blessings by the officiant or guest readers, a section on
intent (Do you promise to love, honor, etc.), exchange of
vows, exchange of rings, declaration of marriage, and the
recessional (the wedding party exits). Some couples incorporate
a candle ceremony and/or a music selection or two. Check with
your officiant for information on including these in your
ceremony.
Ceremony Procedure
Generally your ceremony will proceed as follows. There will
be some variation and your clergyman or wedding coordinator
will advise.
- Grandparents
are seated
- Groom's
mother and father are seated
- Bride's
mother is seated
- The
Groom enters with the officiant
- The
wedding party should have gathers in the vestibule. The
processional will begin in the order you have decided upon.
When the Maid of Honor has entered and passed the pew where
the parents are seated, the Bride and her father will prepare
to enter
- The
Bride's mother will stand, and the rest of the congregation
will follow
- The
Bride will be escorted by her father down the aisle
- The
congregation will be advised whether to remain standing
or to be seated by the officiant
|
