| FIRST
THINGS FIRST
How
Do I Begin?
Once the elation of becoming engaged and the first round of
loving and exciting "congratulations" have been
received, you and your fiancé will soon need to make
some decisions.
The
first step is to determine when you want to
get married. Several factors should be considered:
- How
large and elaborate do you want the wedding to be? If it
is going to be large, then you will need much longer to
plan and prepare. You will need at least six months to plan
a formal wedding and three to four months for an informal
wedding.
- Does
the date interfere with holidays, birthdays, anniversaries,
graduation or occasions others may want to celebrate that
could compete with your chosen wedding date?
- Are
there other considerations? Sometimes couples want to wait
until education has been completed or a tour of military
duty has ended. Other times, couples want or need to marry
immediately for various reasons.
Keep these
factors in mind when deciding: The more elaborate or formal
the wedding, the longer time you will need to make reservations
and pull everything together. The larger the wedding, the
more expensive it will be. Even when you have decided how
long to wait, be flexible on the date, as many churches and
facilities
are often booked months and even a year or two in advance.
With all of this in mind, we suggest you print a copy of the
Wedding
Planning Timeline (Adobe PDF). Post it in a safe place
and check off each task as you complete it.
What
Kind Of A Wedding?
There
are as many types of weddings as there are individuals. Here
in the United States, most weddings are held in a religious
place of worship and most couples prefer a formal ceremony.
There
are many individuals who might prefer a more informal or civil
ceremony. These couples may choose a picturesque background,
perhaps an unusual setting such as a hot air balloon, or most
often, just a courtroom or other simple setting.
The
type of wedding you decide you want, will determine everything
from what
you wear to where
it will be held, how many people you will invite, what
kind of food and drink you will offer, etc. The choices
are limited only by your imagination and your budget.
The
following is offered as a general guideline and is based upon
the very traditional. We encourage you to use your own personality
and preferences when making your decisions and choosing your
details. Allow
professionals to offer advice and direction:
Very Formal: Is always held in a house of worship.
The ceremony is often held at 6:00 p.m. or later in the evening.
The bridal attire consists of a floor length gown, typically
with a cathedral length train and full veil. Attendants and
Mothers would wear floor length gowns, usually with gloves.
The men would wear Full Dress Tails in black with white tie
and waistcoat, gloves and top hat. There would typically be
from 6 to 12 attendants for each.
Formal:
Is most often held in a house of worship. The ceremony takes
place at 2:00 p.m. or later in the afternoon or evening. The
bridal attire includes a floor length gown with chapel length
train and full veil. Attendants and Mothers wear gowns that
are floor length. Gentlemen wear black tuxedos with black
waistcoats. The Groom may opt for a Tail Coat. Attendants
will number from 2 to 6 for each.
Semi-formal:
Can be held in a house of worship or in another elegant location
such as a beautiful Inn, at home, in a lovely garden or any
other setting which emphasizes elegance and romance. The Bride
would choose a gown in either a ballerina or floor length.
Her accessories should be more simple, perhaps a hat rather
than a veil. Likewise, her female attendants and mothers would
choose simple but elegant dresses or suits of ballerina or
street length. Gentlemen should wear tuxedos with either a
black or jacket for evening and afternoon or a cutaway or
suit for morning to early afternoon.
Informal:
Can be held in any location, at any time of day. All members
of the wedding party would wear street length dresses or suits.
There is typically only one attendant for each.
Build A Planning Notebook
To plan properly, you must be organized. This guide will show
you how to get organized and stay organized. You will need:
- A
three ring binder, with tabbed dividers, a couple of zipper
pouches and a couple of pocket files.
- Any
of the worksheets that are useful to you from this website.
Print them off and punch holes in the side to place in
your binder.
Label
your tabs and divide your binder into the following sections:
- Ceremony
- Reception
- Clothing
- Flowers
- Decorations
- Photography
- Music
- Cake/Food
- Honeymoon
- Contracts/Receipts
Place a few sheets of notebook paper behind each section to
make notes as you think of them. Next, place all of the worksheets
you have copied into the notebook behind the appropriate divider.
Place the zipper pouch in the front of your notebook to hold
color swatches of dresses to compare with flowers, cake, shoes,
etc. You may want a second zipper pouch to hold receipts and
contracts, or you can use the pocket folder for this purpose.
As
you find pictures of dresses, cakes, any ideas you might like
to use, in magazines or while you are out and about, clip
them out or write them down. It is impossible to remember
everything, and when you keep it readily available, you will
be able to go back and think about it at a later time. When
you write an idea down, be sure to note where you saw it,
so you can return for a second look later.
KEEP
THIS NOTEBOOK AS YOUR CONSTANT COMPANION during the time you
are planning your wedding. You never know when you will see
something that gives you a great idea. Use it to keep notes,
record verbal agreements, list vendors, shop for matching
items, etc.
Setting
the Date and Time
Setting
the date and time of your wedding can be a juggling act between
doing what's best for your guests and getting the best rates
for your budget. The most economical times to hold a wedding
are off-season and Friday and Sunday evenings. On the other
hand, Sunday night means some people won't be able to work
the next day, and Friday night means some people will have
to leave work early.
In
general, you want to pick a time that isn't going to cause
a lot of scheduling conflicts for your guests. Family holidays,
such as Thanksgiving, Christmas, Easter/Passover, or July
4th, are not recommended, although other holidays such as
Memorial Day or Labor Day may be better. Think of who you're
inviting and their lifestyles. If there are a lot of students,
consider when school breaks occur. If your guests are mostly
families with young children, weeks reserved for vacations
may cause conflicts.
You're
not going to be able to do what's best for everyone, so in
the end just consider the different factors and then check
with the people you most care about to make sure they can
attend.
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